I had an entire month off of work for the Christmas period. It was so nice, and so relaxing.
We spent Christmas with my family in our new home. I cooked a huge turkey dinner and we watched movies. Jacob dressed up like Santa. It was lovely.
Finley’s photo took a prominant place on our tree, and his stocking was hung like last year. I am so glad that we can include him in these ways. Christmas time was very hard – I even shared a guest post over at All That Love Can Do for their 12 Days of Christmas series.
New Year’s Eve was spent in Banff with friends. We had a nice meal, some drinks, saw a band and watched fireworks at midnight. And then like the completely cool people that we are, we went to bed shortly after midnight.
2013 for me was a year of waiting – waiting for our nephew to be born, waiting for my bestie’s baby to be born, waiting for Steve’s permanent residency for Canada to be approved, waiting to find a job, waiting to find a house, waiting for Jacob to arrive, waiting for Steve to arrive, waiting for our furniture to arrive, waiting for Steve to find a job, and the biggest thing for me was waiting to try to grow our family. In a lot of ways, I feel like for the majority of 2013 my life was on hold. There were many good times, but all of them without parts of my family and without really achieving what I want for my life.
There was a few days leading up to Christmas where I thought I was pregnant. Steve even thought I was pregnant. But the pregnancy tests were saying no. I was late and anxious and scared and excited. And I wasn’t pregnant. That hit me quite hard because I so thought that I was.
I found out earlier in the year that I have a hormonal imbalance that had caused some unusual symptoms. My doctor was worried that it could be a small (and usually not dangerous) tumour on my pituitary gland. And so I faced blood tests and an MRI, waiting and more waiting, without Steve there. Eventually the results were in and her suspisions were confirmed, though the mass was so tiny she wasn’t really sure about it. And so I was referred to an endocrinologist….cue more waiting. Basically all I know right now is this imbalance could be affecting my fertility and that scares me since I’ve waited so long to get pregnant again anyways. I don’t want to have to face infertility on top of anything else. I had some more blood tests about a week and a half ago, and will find out next week what the results are. I’m hoping I’m fine, but my gut feeling is that I’m not and I will need to go on medication to get everything balanced out. We shall see.
In anycase, I’ve decided that 2014 is going to be a better year – a year where I get to work on myself and my family and I can’t wait. I will share more about that soon <3