Yesterday was International Bereaved Mother’s Day. We have the beautiful Carly Marie from Project Heal to thank for founding the day for us. I think it’s very important as a community of bereaved parents to spread the word and raise awareness that we’d still like to be recognised as parents even though our children may not be living here with us now.
Part of me is a little bit sad that a separate day is needed for us to be remembered as mothers. I already feel so entirely separate from the world of people with living children, that having a mother’s day just for me makes me feel excluded even more. But in the same token, those who are close to me and who love me will remember me on the normal Mother’s Day, and realise that the day is not all sunshine and rainbows for anybody who has lost a child or a mother.
Despite that inherent sadness at not fitting into the everyday ‘normal’ mother category, I feel that having Bereaved Mother’s Day is a valuable opportunity to stand up and be proud of what I have accomplished. It’s an opportunity for all of the mother’s who have said goodbye to their children too soon to band together and support each other and let the world know that we are here and we count.
Franchesca from Small Bird Studios, who also founded Still Standing Magazine, decided to create a global event which gave the opportunity for mothers to show the world that they are still standing after the death of their babies and children.
When Finley died I thought I would die for the sheer pain of it. I wanted to die with him. I could not envisage a life without him here with me. But despite all of that, I managed to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do: I carried on living. I got up each day even when I didn’t want to. I learned how to be around people again. I fought to tell Finley’s story and make sure that his existence was valued by others.
In spite of everything, I am learning how to see the beauty in the world again. So yesterday when I was driving to work in the early hours of the morning and the sun was rising, I knew that I had to capture the moment. It was such a beautiful clear day and I felt strong and proud of myself for carrying on.