Happy Birthday Son

Dear Finley,
 
Today is your first birthday. You should have been here with us while we celebrated, and it was so incredibly sad to have to live through it without you.
 
I managed to have a lovely day. You are so incredibly loved and missed by so many people. I hope that you could see how much love was shown to your daddy and I today.
 
Some of mummy’s closest friends and your grandpa and grandma and cousins and great grandma all released ballons for you. We had a cake for you and I blew out your candle. That was hard. So many visions of how this day should have been.
 
Your nanny planted a cherry tree for you, and she and Auntie Sadie spent time decorating it. Auntie Sadie made a beautiful plaque for you for on the tree.
 
So many people sent you balloons, lit candles, made donations,  wrote your name, had cakes, and so many other things today. Your daddy and I are truly blessed by the people in our lives. The fact that daddy and I weren’t together today made it harder.
 
I don’t know what else to say really. Your Auntie Sadie summed it up perfectly today when she said she feels like she has a Finley shaped hole in her heart.
 
Pink also seemed to take the words right out of my mind with her lyrics to the song Beam Me Up. I’ll leave off with them now.
 
Happy happy birthday my son. I can’t even describe how much I miss you.
 
Love Mummy xoxo

There’s a whole ‘nother conversation going on
In a parallel universe.
Where nothing breaks and nothing hurts.
There’s a waltz playin’ frozen in time
Blades of grass on tiny bare feet
I look at you and you’re lookin’ at me.
 
Could you beam me up,
Give me a minute,
I don’t know what I’d say in it
I’d probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face

Beam me up,
Let me be lighter,
I’m tired of being a fighter,
I think a minute’s enough,
Just beam me up.

 
Saw a blackbird soarin’ in the sky,
Barely a breath I caught one last sight
Tell me that was you sayin’ goodbye,
There are times I feel the shiver and cold,
It only happens when I’m on my own,
That’s how you tell me I’m not alone.
 
Could you beam me up,
Give me a minute,
I don’t know what I’d say in it
I’d probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face

Beam me up,
Let me be lighter,
I’m tired of being a fighter,
I think a minute’s enough,
Just beam me up.

In my head I see your baby blues
I hear your voice and I, I break in two
and now there’s one of me with you
So when I need you can I send you a sign
I’ll burn a candle and turn off the lights
I’ll pick a star and watch you shine.
 
Just beam me up,
Give me a minute,
I don’t know what I’d say in it
I’d probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face

Beam me up,
Let me be lighter,
I’m tired of being a fighter,
I think a minute’s enough,

Beam me up
Beam me up
Beam me up
Could you beam me up.

11 thoughts on “Happy Birthday Son

  1. Happy 1st Birthday Finley!!! (((hugs))) Lisa <3

  2. Happy 1st bday, Finley! You are so loved!

  3. Happy birthday darling finley. Be strong xxx

  4. Happy birthday little man xx

    Lisa, I wrote Finley’s name in the snow in the Scottish mountains today. I will send to you later when I get the photos off my camera x

  5. Hey, yesterday (23rd) we had a fundraiser in memory of our sons, Oliver and Matthew, who died when they were a week old and to raise money for the neonatal units that looked after them. I saw your blog when I got in and thought of your Finley, It seemed appropriate that we’d spent the evening raising funds for other families like yours and ours even though I didn’t know then that it was his birthday. When I light the boys candles later this week, I’ll light the one next to them for Finley,
    Huge hugs,
    Katy

  6. Sending hugs to you.

  7. Lisa, you show such strength… I really feel for you as I’m facing what would have been my daughter’s 1st birthday in just under a month’s time.

    Happy Birthday to little Finley. I’ll think of him and all the other lost babies when I think of my little Laura.

    Take care, Claire xxxxx

  8. Happy Birthday Finley. Such a hard milestone to go through without him. Sending you hugs.

  9. Kim

    Happy Birthday Finley! Thinking of your mommy today.

  10. Happy Birthday Finley. You are very loved and missed.
    Lisa, I am glad that you were surrounded by such love on this day. Sending lots more your way and thinking of your sweet boy.

  11. Happy birthday Finley, you are so very loved!

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