I recently asked my close friends who lived in Naples if they would take a moment and write down Finley’s story in their words. We were extremely lucky while we lived there to have met some wonderful families who supported us through all of the ups and downs.
Jo, Stu, Skye and Aidie lived right across from us with their dogs Bailey and Gemma (and eventually Bella). Jo would have been my go to for when Finley was born. She is a brilliant mum to her kiddies and I loved spending time with them all. There was one of my ultrasounds that Steve couldn’t make it to, and Jo came with me. She’s the only one other than me and Steve who attended one of the scans.
Ann and Steve lived diagonally across from us and they had dogs called Monty and Cypher. They often took it upon themselves to feed me. I was really quite sick when I was pregnant, so they were constantly giving me food when I was at theirs (which to be fair was quite often). I would take Jacob over there so he could chase their dogs (and he would get fed as well!). They looked after Jacob when my waters broke and we went to the hospital to have Finley.
We all used to get together for meals or games nights or just to watch X Factor. It made life living so far away from all of our families and friends more bareable, and in a way they all became my surrogate family. I really miss them now that we all live apart.
|Jo and Stu at the Naples Christmas do.|
I’m Jo. I met Steve and Lisa when they moved to Italy. They were my new neighbours. I was very pleased to have somebody my age out here because postings are very lonely sometimes. I was gutted at first to learn that they didn’t have any children as I was the only one on the parco (gated section of houses) with children which made it very hard.
My daughter Skye-Sophia is 5 and my son Aidie is 2, both where born in the UK. My pregnancy with Skye was very easy I had no problem,s my labour however was only 20 mins. Aidie was completely different, the pregnancy was horrible. I was sick for 7 months, he was always measuring 2 weeks over what he should have, I had very bad lower back problems too. I was induced 2 weeks early because of my previous labour and his size, and once again my labour was very fast. This time too quick and once he was born I didn’t get to hold him for the first 50 mins because they were having to stitch me for that long. It took 2 midwives and at the time it was very scary but all was ok and we both went home after 6 hours but often I do wonder should I have had a c section?
When I found out Lisa was expecting I was so excited for them it is the most amazing thing in the world, yes not all was straight forward through the pregnancy bless her, but there were no major problems or issues.
Lisa’s water then broke and off they went to the naval hospital. We all waited and waited, spoke to Steve all was good she was nearly ready to push, little baby Finley was nearly here. That following morning I heard the car door outside so I quickly rushed to the door, it was Steve returning from the hospital, I asked has he arrived?
Nothing could ever have prepared me for what I was told, the look in his eyes, my heart just sank I felt physically sick, I knew I had to go to Lisa, why has this happened? What suddenly went so wrong? From another mother I just had to be there for her. I went to the hospital a few times to see Lisa. I never got to see Finley bless him, but when the news came that he had passed away I couldn’t hold back I just broke down. Lisa is my age, how are we supposed to go on when something like this happens? Things like this shouldn’t happen nowadays with all the resources we have.
When Lisa first came home it was very hard, you worry what to say or if you should just leave them alone but you at the same time have to act normal for them. I felt at first that I should keep my children out of the way and quiet as that must be the last thing they wanna see and hear. I just tried to help and be there for them as much as I could. I just felt so useless most of the time, nothing can change what has happened, nobody could make her feel better, hopefully over time this would come.
I was very sad to see Steve and Lisa leave Italy but at the time it’s what they needed to do, she needed her family, they needed to get away from all their memories here.
Even though I never met Finley, I’ve seen his pictures he was adorable, looked just like his daddy. I will never forget him, when something like this happens it makes you step back and think just how precious life is and especially your children, treasure every moment because everything can change in a second.
RIP Finley Arthur, you are now at peace with the angels. You will be forever loved by us all xxxxxxxx
|Ann and Steve.|
|This is a scene that was quite normal.
Ann giving ‘yum yums’ to all 3 dogs, and Steve drinking a cup of tea.
Hi, My name is Ann and I am married to Steve. I am writing this story for Lisa and Steve in remembrance of Finley, their little baby boy whose little life was so short but Finley’s memories will always be there forever.
Lisa and Steve were our close neighbours in Italy and we soon became good friends. When you are away from your own families, in certain situations, you kind of become surrogate family and that is how I felt with Lisa. I suppose I was a bit of a mother hen, Lisa being a bit younger than my own daughter.
When Lisa first found out she was pregnant and so delighted with her news we all shared in the fantastic experience with her and Steve.
Along came the morning sickness which was a lot of the time. We would try and find out which foods to try and help but Lisa just tackled this and got on with it, cup of tea was the favourite.
When Steve was away, we would play monopoly and talk about the baby and when Lisa and Steve
found out they were having a little boy, the tears of joy so genuinely felt, when we saw the scan
pictures. Really that is when you really feel that there is a little person inside you. On later scans
and now that the new baby had his name it was so exciting for them.
Lisa’s sickness feelings got so much better in the last trimester and she looked and felt well. Lisa had that wonderful glow about her. When we went shopping, we would always make our way over to the baby section which also took me back to my pregnancy days, such lovely days. On the spur of the moment, we went and head our hair done, what a lovely pamper day that was. We even went with our other neighbour Jo, to help choose the pram.
Everything was ready for Finley just waiting for the day now. When Lisa’s waters broke – gosh we were just so excited for the happy couple and could not wait to meet their little Finley.
What happened next was so unexpected that there were complications with the birth and you just felt that at that point life was just not being fair and how could this happen. Everything was perfect and all prepared and that was the beginning of the life with Finley’s memories.
Our hearts and prayers were with Lisa and Steve, and will always be with them and their baby angel Finley.