Finley Helps Save Lives

Sharing Finley with the world is my way of trying to make a difference. Whether it be to bridge the gap with other babylost parents so they feel less alone, reminding people not to take their loved ones and especially their children for granted, and for pregnant women to take notice of Finley’s story and use it as a reason to follow their instincts. It is so important for women to take notice of kicks and movements when they are pregnant, and to always get checked out if they are afraid something is wrong.

Hearing of tangible proof that Finley’s life has helped to create a positive outcome for another family and their baby was more amazing and incredible than I could have hoped. To know that by sharing our story, it has made the difference for somebody else is overwhelming, and it helps me to see that even though Finley died, there are some positives that will come from his life.

I was very surprised when I received the following message from a friend:

“I got a txt message saying “what symptoms should I be looking for for start of labour? I had severe lower tummy cramps for 10 whole minutes not a wave, constant pain then nothing. Any help?”

My friend and I were induced for our first children and I had another boy in April so she was asking if this was “normal” labour. It rang a little alarm bell in my head after hearing yours and our other angel pea story. I asked her to phone hospital she said it was fine and she didn’t need to so I txt back ‘I’ll pop round’. From this first message I had Finley and Logan in my mind.

I went round and she told me B had not really moved much since, so I asked her to phone maternity and she wouldn’t. I got her the usual ice cold drink and chocolate. There was still no movement. My friend was scared and just kept telling me that everything was fine. She kept saying “no ladies are being born today as daddy is away”. Her husband was working out of town.

I didn’t want to panic her but really wanted to take her to hospital to get checked. She kept saying no. By 11 she had barely felt any movement so had phoned her midwife who said she would come to the house. When the midwife arrived I left as the midwife asked me to and my friend did too so I went to a group. As I was leaving I phoned her other half and told him he needed to come home as the midwife was round and I was worried about E being alone.

After group I selfishly popped back round for my own peace of mind more than anything. E was still upset I could tell. I asked what the midwife had said. She said the midwife felt her stomach and said that B was engaged and that she felt fine. The midwife said she had felt movement. I asked what the heartbeat was like and apparently the midwife didn’t listen. I asked about B’s movements and she said she hadn’t felt anything since I left.

I was very worried by this point as it had been 4 hours since the random pain. I probably wrongly shouted at her as she was not listening to my polite pleas to get checked. I told her I WAS talking her to the hospital. She said no. I told her I didn’t want to scare her but two ladies I know had lost their babies and one even had a sharp pain and then reduced movements afterwards. I told her that both babies fought hard but died. I got sworn at and called evil for telling a pregnant person this. But by this stage she was in tears and agreed for me to take her in. I phoned the labour ward and told them we were coming in (she was 39 weeks). I took my baby and her toddler and bundled everyone into the car and with her suitcase. E was refusing to talk to me as it was my fault.

We arrived at hospital 20ish minutes later and she was strapped to a monitor. An anethnetist was called straight away to put a spinal in. B’s heart-rate was crazy, really high then dropping really low. The room filled with midwives and doctors.

I called E’s mum as her husband had not made it yet. The midwives were telling her they needed to deliver the baby now. I tried to be as calm and helpful as I could with getting E to cooperate but she was so angry (I think she was really just petrified). It was horrible. Everyone seemed to be panicking (midwives included). In hindsight I imagine it was just everyone trying to get everything done quickly and efficiently but as there were so many people in the room and nobody turned off the alarm it felt like mad panic.

In minutes a spinal was sighted and she was off to theatre being told if it hadn’t taken effect she would have to go under general anesthetic. I couldn’t go into theatre with her as I needed to stay with the children, (I had my 5 month old and her 2 year old as her mum and hubby had not yet arrived).

As she was getting wheeled through to theatre her husband arrived. Ten maybe fifteen minutes later I caught my first glimpse of B in an incubator. She had an oxygen mask on and looked very blue.

It as only when I saw J (her husband) come out that he told me that B had the cord wrapped around her neck and they think it was knotted. Her cord scores were ok but she would need to stay in an incubator. Then I got a hug and he burst into tears. I don’t know him that well but the relief was palpable.

E’s mum arrived shortly after and took E’s toddler home. I told John I was going and he said that the doctors said they had got her out in time and that she should be fine, but she would need to stay in an incubator.

The next day I got a visit from a lady I didn’t know. She knocked on my door, and when I said hello she burst into tears and hugged me. This turned out to be E’s mum.

I honestly don’t feel like I did anything to save this little girls life. It was Finley and Logan. Had I not read your birth story and had both angels ingrained in my mind, I may have thought nothing of it and trusted her midwife who said B was fine. She clearly wasn’t.

It is thanks to your angel that another little one is here safely. I had my first cuddles today. After a few days in the incubator and receiving some oxygen they were both allowed home.

I know this may seem like a random message but I honestly believe that you need to know that Finley had an impact on me and subsequently B as I don’t know how much longer she would have survived with the knotted cord.”

Reading the story had me in tears as it was so familiar and so scary. I’m so grateful that B is ok.

Thank you to my lovely sweet pea friend for sharing this story with me and letting me know that Finley has made such an impact.

15 thoughts on “Finley Helps Save Lives

  1. mel

    It is only by sharing what has happened to our Finley’s, our angels, that other angels can be saved. Everyone – even the professionals – believe that this does not happen. Everyone wants to bury their head in the sand. I too have shouted at friends who refuse to get checked, risking friendship and looking like a paranoid nutter, but its worth it every time to find out that baby ok. It doesn’t bear thinking about the alternative.

  2. This is so terrifying but with such a beautiful ending! How wonderful that Finley’s story could have saved this other little one’s life.

  3. Wow I am glad that she was adamant about going to the hospital and did not let the stubborn momma have her way – God knows how horrible that could have ended up. I’m so glad that YOUR sweet boy and his legacy have helped others. I bet this was wonderful and heartbreaking all at once for you.


  4. This story gave me chills. Thank you for sharing. As mommies to angels, we have to share our stories. It serves a great purpose to let our precious babies live on through us. How wonderful that your sweet Finley helped bring another baby into this world safely. Simply Beautiful.

  5. This is such a bittersweet story because of how the lesson was learned… but the fact that Finley helped save a baby because you were sharing your story is wonderful. Thank you for sharing.

  6. Wow I am holding back the tears, bittersweet that you had to loose Finlay. But my you should be proud of your little man what an impact he has made on someone else! I am so proud of him I can’t imagine how proud you must be off him xxx

  7. All I can say is wow…

  8. Stopping by from ICLW and wanted to say that I am sending your little Finley so much love. I read your story & bawled, but he was such a precious little guy. *hugs*

  9. Hello from ICLW. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Sending light and hope.

  10. jhl

    Thank so much for stopping by for ICLW. I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son … I know, from experience, that there are no words, but I am abiding with you, as you begin to try to find a new normal.

    This note from your friend … what a gift. To know that Finley’s story saved the life of another baby … this is the closest I come to proof of angels.

  11. I’m so sorry for your loss. It is wonderful to know that your experience saved another life, I’m glad you spoke up!

  12. SM

    This is horrfiying but I’m so glad it ended well! I know it doesn’t help the pain too much but it must be good to know that others live because of your experience. Thinking of you!

    ICLW #31

  13. I’m in tears this morning from reading, not only this story, but much of your backstory. I can only imagine (and of course not even that) how difficult it had to be to lose your Finley, but it is amazing that your loss perhaps has changed others’ lives. Thinking of you.


  14. This story brought me tears. I’m so glad these stories have been shared. What an incredible ending.

  15. Oh wow, what a horrific scenario that got a happy ending, thank goodness for that.

    Ps. thanks for stopping by for ICLW.

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