Dear Finley,
Daddy and I have been so busy the last week. Last Friday we went to see Batman, then we spent the weekend in Hereford with friends from Naples who knew you when you were still inside my tummy and visited me in the hospital after you were born, then on Monday we went to London to watch the dress rehearsal of the Olympic Opening Ceremony. I’ve been to coffee mornings and been on walks with Jacob. Seeing friends here and talking to friends in Canada. Then last night we watched the Opening Ceremony.

Mummy and Daddy in Hereford
Mummy and Daddy in Hereford
Mummy and Daddy at the Olympic Village
Mummy and Daddy at the Olympic Village
The inside of the Olympic Stadium
The inside of the Olympic Stadium

I have always loved the Olympics since I was a young child. I have especially loved them since I started becoming more aware of other countries and cultures, having done quite a bit of travelling. The idea of so many nations coming together for a common cause excites me and overwhelms me. In a strange way it feels symbolic of what I have wanted to achieve in my life. Travel, experiencing other cultures, and history have become a huge part of my life. I met your daddy because of this passion. I agreed to move to Italy because of this passion. In the end it meant that you were my little multinational boy. Canadian, British, Italian and born in an American hospital. Four countries involved in your short life. The celebrant at your service called our family a ‘League of Nations’ and it made me smile; it was so true, and I was so proud of that fact.
Watching the opening ceremonies was hard. There was a portion about Great Ormond Street Hospital and how they save so many babies and children. They showed photos of the people who were killed in the London bombings and there were two babies photos shown. There was a segment when they played/sang Abide with Me. Canada marched out in the parade, then Italy. Then it was the USA and lastly the UK. Rather than feeling emotional because of the ceremonies like I normally would be, I couldn’t think anything besides what was missing in my life – you.
I imagine that I would have wanted to dress you in little Canada outfits and your daddy would have argued saying you were British. You probably would have worn both. Maples Leaves and Union Flags. Maybe we would have gotten to take you to London. Oh I can just imagine the photos I would have taken – you and daddy in front of the stadium. At the tower bridge with the olympic rings. In the crowds around the Olympic Village.

And so this year the Olympics are bittersweet, just like most things will probably be from now on in my life. I’m excited, but it’s tainted. Everything should be better than it is. But I don’t think anything will ever quite feel whole again.
Love mummy xox

Last Modified on January 12, 2018
This entry was posted in babyloss, travel
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